August 31, 2007

Mattchew's Birfday and other stuff

WHere was I?

Oh so I am getting baqck on track, still need to step it up a bit if I want to lose weight faster, but I am making better choices.

Yesterday I had the big sammich, but better than a burger and fries! And I had no chips or sides or dessert. Go me~!

After work I got to see Haydee's wedding dress, which is really beautiful! Then Wes drove us all to Indian food dinner, which made me dip into my flex points a little, but it was yummy! After we all went to the pool hall and it was a pretty close game, but I scratched on the 8-ball and Matt and Haydee won.

I decided not to drink, as I know booze carries points and I knew I already went over. I had a diet soda instead.

Wes was going to stay over, and I must say I am still conflicted. On weeknights, when I am tired, I sort of prefer not to have to wear ear plugs to sleep and I always stay up a little later talking when he is there. I miss him when he is not there though, so it's a catch-22. Last night it worked out though cause one of his favorite car shows was on and I did not want to watch it. I think he wishes I would watch it with him. I would, but it's def. not my favorite thing.

It was pretty cool not getting up early on a Friday, but I hope to get some excersize in tomorrow!

August 30, 2007

Big Fat Zit and other meanderings

Mornin,
Yes, that's right I got a big fat ugly zit square between the eyes at the top of the mountain that is my nose (between eyebrows). It's deep and painful and I look like a retard cousin of rudolph . .. but in better news my darling boyfriend helped me apply the haircolor from the box and I already feel more pretty. No more dried out ugly blond streaks and uneven roots. *sigh*

Diet-wise, well, I learned another thing. I think I need to be better about my pre-dinner snacking. See, on Wednesdays Wes comes over and we have dinner together. But for some weird reason he can never get to my place before 7:30pm (I dont get it either- he gets off usually at 4:30). I try to guage where he is at and have dinner ready when he walks in the door cause I am starving. I usually have a snack at 4 or 5 and eat as soon as I get home. Anyway, last night, I was waiting for wes, starving and chatting with my roommate, not even thinking about what I was eating I managed to finish off the rest of the box of Triscuit Thin Crips. Now these are lower in points than other crackers, but it still pushed me over my daily allotment, especially with my less-than-stellar dinner.

Now I know!

Boot camp was kind of fun this morning. They did a fitness bingo game. We had to run to one of four spots, get a poker chip from the basket, come back and pick a square on the sheet with an excersize printed in the square, put the chip on it and repeat.

I am not doing the next session, but I may come back for their holiday fitness challenge, which is end of October through Christmas for $300. I may do that and just ask everyone to contribute instead of gifts this year. All this healthy eating and excersize is expenssive!

August 29, 2007

Dark Wednesday

So my diet went totally out this window this week and I know I gained back about 2lbs of what I lost. I am pretty bummed about this. Time to kick it up a notch.

I am pretty afraid of stepping on the scale at WW meeting today because I have consistantly lost and this week I am pretty sure I have gained. I mean, if I stayed the same one week I would be okay with it, but to go backwards would really bum me out.

Alright, that aside I got a lot done last night that I had been putting off ... well not a lot, but a couple things and I went to bed at a decent hour and didn't have to get up at 5am this morning. I am pretty tired still, but in a better mood.

This week will be over before I know it and I am really looking forward to this weekend . . .more later.

August 28, 2007

Wow, What a Moon!

Good morning Bloggees.
I must say it was mighty nice to go home and stay there after work last night. People came to me for a change. First Haydee stopped by to borrow a couple baskets for the wedding, and then a lady came and purchased my iSight. I am very pleased with this because I needed some cash. I will also take this moment to thank Dad and Joyce for getting it for me years ago. I think at the time I wanted an iPod, but the iSight was another cool gadget, which I ended up barely using, but I kept it in case I ever wanted to use it. Well my new mac has one built in so I didn't need the external one anymore. I handed it over to my buddy jess, and told her if i got any offers to buy it she can pay me what was offered or decide to have me sell it if she didnt want it afterall. The original price of the item I believe was about $50. Jess went online and found out that they don't make or sell these anymore and so people are selling them on ebay and craigslist for over $200. I posted mine yesterday for $180 and sold it for exactly that. SWEET!

I went overboard at dinner because I was very hungry and in a carby mood. I hope my excersize balanced that out.

I was asleep by 9:30pm, but an old friend keeps calliung at the worst times and won't say what the call is about on the message, so I have ignored it for the most part.

This morning boot camp was not bad, but I have to say it was one of the nicest, clearest, warmest mornings ever. There was a lunar eclipse last night from about 1am to 5am and I missed it, but the moon was full and amazing. I really could not keep my eyes off it. It kind fo gave me this "i am a pimple in this grand universe" feeling. First it was glowing milky white, then as it sunk behind the lake it turned a golden yellow, which complimented the bronze glow of the old lights surrounding the lake path and I just fell in love with where I live and this morning in general.

Today I am very excited, as I get to see the construction site of the new Academy. Very few employees will get to see the site before it is done, and I am very lucky that they needed a volunteer for a donor tour and I was in the right place at the right time. It is costing me in parking fees, but it's well worth it.

Tomorrow is WW meeting and I admit after such a miraculous loss the previous week and a pretty over the top weekend, I am afraid of a gain on the scale. I will try to be meticulous on my diet this next 24 hours and see if it helps. I really want to get to a place where my weight loss is a little more noticeable.

August 27, 2007

Fun Stuff for those bored with my words

Another Blog Worth Reading

And a couple photos of recent events



Another Crazy Weekend

Friday night was very busy. I went to dinner with my roommate and a couple of her peeps, which was cool. I really don't see her much and they are such cool people and I was glad to have a social dinner with them for a change. It wasn't the healthiest dinner though, but I had boot camp that day, so I think I was okay.

After that I hung out with my best friend Matt and we talked about the wedding, his family and groom-side related events. It was nice to spend some time with him.

Wes then came over and Matt left and I was way tuckered, but still had some prepping to do for the shower the next day.

I went to bed pretty late, but I was pretty ready. THe next morning I was raring to go. I got a lot done and was pretty ready. I had two mroe errands before the shower and Wes was still sleeping. I knew he didn't want to go to this party and his sleeping in so late sort of exxaggerated that point to me. I was frustrated and very sad. I guess I wish he was the type of guy to enjoy people and friends and parties and pitch in and help out (not just when asked). But he isn't that guy and I am having trouble accepting that. I broke down again and he helped to pull me together from my freak-out just in time for the shower.

The big shower went pretty well. I think the games were too time consuming and no one was really that into it. The T-shirts were a hit, even though the bride and groom didn't wear them and we all went home with a lot of leftovers.

I probably veered complteley from my diet the whole weekend, but this morning it didn't show any loss or gain on the scale, so I am happy.

After the shower we vegged out and that was very needed.
Sunday I woke up with a sore throat, probably a result of so much stress and so little sleep. I suffered through it and went to the brides maid meeting. We saw the wedding site and worked on the favors (legos!). It was fun and Haydee made us a super yummy dinner. Afterwards I topped off my big cheat weekend with some ice cream at the movies. Nanny Diaries was cute, but not as funny as we expected it to be.

I had my usual sunday night sleep anxieties and probably didnt get enough sleep again. Boot camp was tough this morning, I felt soooo tired. But on the upside, my throat hurts less and I made it to work.

I can't wait for a three day weekend!!!!

August 24, 2007

Check it out - More

I notice my daily visits have decreased recently.
Perhaps I need to add more links and pictures . ...


The Scales are Lying

The scales are lying . ..they must be ....I do not feel any thinner, or any less out of breath when I climb three flights of stairs, but here I am supposedly 12 lbs lighter (14 if you go by WW scale). I know if Nicole Ritchee lost 12lbs she would be nonexsistant, but it is so barely noticeable on me because I weigh so much to begin with. While this is a bit discouraging, people's wild reactions to any number over ten seem to be enough to inspire me to forge on. I guess my pants do feel a little looser around the waiste, but that could just be me wearing them three times before washing them and of course wishful thinking. But alas .. . . I did wake up for the second day in a row (after a measley 5.5hrs sleep) and I did the first week of boot camp evaluation. I was able to get about another half minute shaved off my mile (man am I in high school PE again???). I really can't wait for the day that I do not feel like I am dying after a 14 minute mile. I am huffing with a charlie horse and sweating to high heaven while everyone else is back on their mats doing crunches. And since it's a new session there is one girl probably a little more out of shape than me, and she freakin cheated! She turned around before the half mile marker. . . I still beat her! Hehe. I know it's not a race and we are just trying to improve our own time, but damn it felt good not to be last.

I think tomorrow's shower might be a bit of a challenge as I know there will be tons of food and sweets. I dont want to deny myself, but I will try not to go overboard.

August 23, 2007

Losing Weight, Finding a Balance

Good Morning shiny blog readers!

I was shocked when Anne brought out the regular scale yesterday at our makeshift WW meeting and I somehow seemed to have shed another 4.2lbs in a week, the same week I went away for my family trip. This got me to a total weight loss of 14lbs ...hmmm ... I really don't trust the WW weigh-in because my outfits change from week to week and sometimes my clothes and shoes are pounds heavier or lighter. So I really think I will stick to my scale at home, which has me comfortable back below 250 :)

I am also happy to report I finally ran the errands I have been needing to last night. I was pleasantly surprised by how early Wes made it to my house and he went shopping with me and then we had dinner and just chilled. He really seemed a little bummed, but reassured me he was not. We are probably both just a little tired and a little overhwhelmed.

I have my head a little wrapped up in Matt and Haydee's wedding, and boot camp and the diet and probably should relax more. I actually thought this morning it would be super fun to get a hotel room for a night with wes and force ourselves to stay in, order room service, watch tv and totally relax . . .b ut I can't afford it. Maybe in a couple months after the wedding.

No other excitement I can report to you. I hope my weight continues to drop!

August 22, 2007

Hummpphh

So I decided I don't feel a lot like I am on a diet. I don't feel deprived or tortured or sarved in any way, yet I am losing weight. I am sure this will plateau and I will need to step things up a bit, but for now dieting really isn't bad at all.
I do feel those junk food cravings real strong lately though, and I feel super sleepy still. Less so than yesterday, but man, I need sleep!

Anyway, yesterday I came home and went right out again. I really hate this. I feel like I get so few hours from the moment I walk in the door to the moment I fall asleep and I do not like to cram anything into that time, but I have been real excited about my friend Jen and Dave's new baby Peyton, and I really wanted to meet him. So I brought some fun penguin toys from the aquarium and went on over. It was really nice, I got to hold this teenie tiny sweet adorable,mostly sleeping baby for a long time. He is so small and so light and so totally adorable. J&D seemed like such natural parents. I definitely feel some envy in a healthy way for their ideal situation (financially sound, nice house, can spend a lot of time with their new child, etc). I am so proud of them and happy for them and I can not wait to spend more time with Peyton, and hopefully someday bring him to the aquarium! J&D had their friends Jake and Chrissy over and Dave made us buffalo burgers, which apparantly are leaner than regular burgers. I also had mine on an english muffin instead of a bun and did not take a second helping of potatos. I had a 1-point fudge bar when I got home and went to bed.

I really had every intention of getting up for boot camp this morning, but I was into a TV show, not feeling particularly sleepy and finally turned the tube off at 1035, only to be awoken by the phone at 1130 and continued to wake up throughout the night for no particular reason. I think it was 2am when I decided not to go to boot camp and reset my alarm for 630am. It was still too soon when my alarm went off, but I got up and made it to work. I knwo that now I will have to go to boot camp tomorrow and Friday, and today was the active rest day so thurs/fri will be tough, but I will make it!

I think I actually dreamt about eating last night, it was weird. I really want to pig out on some sweet and savory things, but so far have been pretty good at avoiding any binges.

Our WW meeting leader went on vacation and we are left to our own devises today, but I think we are weighing ourselves and talking food and such. I didn't bring my lunch.

August 21, 2007

Why am I so Tired?

I don't think I have ever felt so lathargic (at least since starting my diet/excersize) Yesterday Wes and I spent the better part of the day in the car and towards the end of the ride I couldn't keep my eyes open and when we got back I faught the sleepies for as long as I could an zonked out before 9pm, only to wake up still very sleepy. I stuck it out through bootcamp and probably snoozed my way to the city and lethargically walked to the office. I still feel very heavy and tired, but I am much too busy to not do my work. This is tough. I don't get it. THese are the days I wish I drank coffee.

So anyways. My weekend was great. It was good to see the family and Heather had a blast, as I predicted and Wes had a good time too. Everyone loved them. I got to knwo Angie a little more too, and she is an absolute rock star. Everyone was in pretty good spirits.

I am proud to say I even got a little excersize in with a nice hike. It was a bit slow going, but I broke a sweat for sure.

As far as food, well it's hard to diet around my family, so I decided to just let it go and lucky for me I am picky and avoided certain things anyway. I still probaBLY did not have ideal portions or points, but I don't feel too off track.

Dad and Joyce gave me another $100 towards boot camp, but I think I am going to put it towards a gym membership as I can not afford to continue boot camp after this 4-week session. I might inquire how much it would cost to hire one of the boot camp trainers on an idividual basis once a month to give me direction with what to work on every month and switch things up a little. I figure if it's $50 a session with a trainer, and $50 a month for the gym, it's still 1/2 the cost of boot camp!

We'll see.
Thanks for reading and pray for me that I snap out of this sleepy haze soon.

August 17, 2007

I feel Sick

Yesterday was nuts. It was nuts at work. I sold the windhield at lunch, stayed after work to volunteer at an event. Saw a couple poeople I knew and my brother and his GF came, but really had to leave since I had so much to do. I didn't want to leave I was having a blast, but I had to.

I also was shocked to find the parking attendant gone when I came ot get my car and the key still in the ignotion. Now I've parked ehre before, its a small off-the street lot and even though he always leaves the cars unlocked with the keys in the cars, he is always there watching them. So when i told him i would pick up my car later in the evening he had me park it, but it didnt occur to me to take the key since i always leaveit for him as he rearranged the cars often. When I got to the car after 7pm it was unlocked with the key int he ignition and no attendant, the garage part and his booth were locked and closed. My bad i guess . ...I was lucky it was still there. In other car news my roommie texted me that she got a honda fit- i have yet to see it or get details.

So next i went grocery shopping, i needed a few general items, some snacks for the bridesmaids meeting and some wine for the trip this weekend. After I got home I realized i forgot about jess, she was going to come get the desk. Luckily I convinced her to come still. I then went to put groceries away and realized the kitchen was a total wreck adn something told me to clean it. I really cleaned it good. The only thing i didnt do was mop the floor, but i wanted to. I finally put the groceries away after cleaning and started taking the desk apart. Jess and Jarrod showed up with a very sunburnt HL and we took the desk down to their car.

After all this I called wes, who had some bad news. He may have to work monday. We come back from my family weekend monday. i really have a bad feeling about this. it makes me very very sad and dissapointed.

next i got the gifts for my family together and turned on the tube for a few to unwind before i fell asleep, i think it was 11pm.

Woke up at 5am again. Haydee didnt show up to boot camp and i missed her. I was sluggish, but i did it. The only good news after that was for the first time i weighed in under 250 lbs!!! This is really awesome.I feellike a lot fo things in life have this 250lb weight limit, so my world has just opened up. I can now get this chair without breaking it, if i want to take an alaskan helicopter tour, i no longer would have to pay the $200 surcharge of weighing over 250lbs, I can also now go on rides at Holiday World. Life is good!

To further my bad news for the day I got in carpool this mornign and there was a lot of traffic on the bridge and all the stop and go paired with my unslept, overworked body made me feel very very sick. To this moment I am having some pretty awful chilld, nausia and general poo-ey feeling. I think I will work my ass off and go home early.

Thats all for today, thanks for reading!

August 16, 2007

Third Thursday

Good Morning dear readers of the bloggy,
I feel a bit overwhelmed this morning, but first let's go back to yesterday.

Weight Watchers meeting went well. I weighed in and according to "their" sclae I lost 9.8lbs. I really badly wanted to be the first in the group to get my 10lb reward and get the oos and aaahs, but someone beat me to it. I should have taken off my jewelry or something, oh well. I will be there next week. So far in WW I lost 4lbs the first week, 2.6 the second, 1.2 the third and 2more lbs this last week. Not bad, I hope I can keep it up and be consistant.

Yesterday I was hoping to run home after work and get some groceries and things for the trip this weekend, but my boss needed me to stay late. I was really annoyed by this, and my grumpy/hungry post-work nature was extra sensative, poor Wes got the brunt of that. I raced him to my place and showed up only minutes before he did. So as you know I ordered a new computer, which wasn't expected until today. Well yesterday I wanted to do the tracking on it and just see if it might arrive early. Wes had told me the printer came Tuesday, but when I tracked everythign yesterday it said the computer came Tuesday too. Hmmm . . . . It occured to me he might be trying to surprise me with it, but what if someone else signed for it and stole it? Or they delivered to the wrong address?! I was worried and called Wes and left a message. Turns out he was going to surprise me and was mad I spoiled the surprise. This isn't the first time this has happened. I do have a tenancy to need to knw whats going on and be organized and all that, so it's hard to surprise me, but that means that when/if Wes ever does surprise me it's that much more special (cause he had to put in extra hiding effort).

So we still had to figure out dinner, and I was of course excited about my new computer, which I emmediately started setting up. I ended up making chicken and rice, which was not bad. Better than ordering pizza asgain which we almost did.

Later Brian called. For those of you who don't know, Brian and I are working together on building a line of plus-size motorcycle jackets . ..well Brian mostly. My life has changed so much int he year and a half or so since we started this thing and I really can not put much time, effort or money into it. I truley believe in the product and really hope this happens, but I don't really want to be the one to do it. I absolutely detest the idea of working another job right now, and that's exactly what this feels like (only I am not getting paid). It's really tugh for me. I am trying so hard to put my energy into this diet and excersize thing and still try to maintain a couple friendships and before I know it my time is gone. My conversation with Brian was strained. He didn't want to be a boss and tell me what to do, but I could nto get it together to figure out what needs to be done on my own. I had got together with him not long ago and told him how I feel and that I can not put as much into it, and he can take over control of the project and I will help when and where I can, but I still feel very obligated and guilty and I envision a lot of work ahead of me. I hope I can handle it.

I also think Craig's death is a little storm cloud looming over my head, making me feel a little less happy.

So back to last night. Wes wanted to get frozen yogurt and he was a doll and got some for both of us. I knew before he went I didn't want any, but he really did and I envisioned him bringing some back and me changing my mind. Well he did bring some back and I took a few bites and they mixed some berry flavor in with the chocolate and I didnt like the taste and closed the lid and didnt eat it. I am glad I didnt eat it anyway just because it was sweet and in front of me.

Now it was getting late, I never made it to the store and I was starting to think about the next few days and everything I had to do. It was really stacking up and stressing me out. It took awhile for me to get my mind off things and fall asleep, but once I did it was like BAM morning. I woke up around 5 when wes did and got ready pretty quick. I had time to set up my printer and figure out some more computer stuff before heading out.

This morning I drove and it was about 635am when I left. I wasn't sure if carpool picked up that early, but sure enough there was a line of cars. I got in loine and it wasn't until after 7am that I got two passengers. I am glad I didnt ditch the line though because the tolllaza was really backed up bad and I flew right by in the carpool lane (and didnt have to pay toll). I dropped off the passengers and made it to Sue. She was stressing too, and it was late, but alas I battled traffic and got her to thye airport on time.

One thing really struck me about bay area traffic and weather, both are really without any rhyme or reason. No order, no consistancy whatsoever. I drove through a lot fo heavy fog to super sunny paches in a 12 mile radius, and the trafis would be heavy, then light, then heavy. So weird, but kind of cool. It kind fo reflected the quick changing of my moods. But like Sue and her struggles, me and my stress, and the general nature of things, I got to work on time and everything is fine. Now today at some point I am meeting someone to sell my old motorcycle windshield, having lunch with Beth and then I planned to stay at work late again and volunteer for a fun event. I am happy to stay for the event but the amount of things I need to get done tongiht alone is pretty crazy. I need to go to the grocery store, do a load or two of laundry (before 10pm), clean my apartment (people coming over tommorow) and maybe pack for my trip if I can. That's a lot. Throw dinner in there too and you have a downright mess of too much stuff. On top of that I will have to wake up at 5am for the third day in a row tomorrow for boot camp. Yikes!

So I hope this post expresses to you how stressed I am without totally boring you with lists of needless facts. I wish I had time to visit my friends and their new baby, my friend sara and her baby, my cousins and friends I never see and maybe get some mroe quality time in with my man, but hey, maybe in a couple weeks, or months when things die down. Oy vey, I can't stop! Now I am thinking about all the weddings coming up and it's just busy busy busy. Good thing I love weddings and babies, but can I have a couple more hours or days please????

August 15, 2007

Is it Wednesday?

I keep thinking it is a day later in the wek than it is. The reality is a bummer.
Yesterday was a little bummy as I thought of Craig and the accident and my own accident and mortality (heavy stuff). But things got better after work. I met up with Danielle and we celebrated the news of her impending promotion and saw SuperBad (free screening) and I used my remaining flex points on a hot dog and popcorn-yum!

I got home late and Sophia found out about the rock incident and texted me all worried and guilty. I reassured her I am fine and tried to fall asleep at a decent hour. I was glad I slept great last night, but only 6 hours. Boot camp was rough this morning, I am feeling less spritely and motivated, but I go through the motions and am sore after (so I know it's still working).

In other news, my dear friend Sue is going to visit her sister and take a much needed rest and reevaluation of her life and I offered to get up and take her to the airport tomorrow morning at 7am. Fun stuff, but I am glad to do it.

Tonight I need to get the gifts for my family wrapped and start packing, maybe pick up a few food items and of course, spend time with my honey.

The scale decided to express a number slightly higher than last time this morning and that made me sad, but I know I am gaining muscle and on the right track, so I will not change my trackers just yet!

August 14, 2007

Somewhat Unrelated

So this has nothing to do with my diet and excersize, yet really does.

As you know I was in not one, but two motorcycle accidents and miraculously survived both without a broken bone or drop of blood shed. Since then my fear of rising increased as well as my longing to ride again. But I think i may give it up for good as I continue to hear more stories of death and dismemberment and less of the joys and conveniences (you cant really argue with death and dismemberment anyway).

So after hearing so many awful stories, this morning someone I actually sort of knew was killed in a motorcycle accident. This really upsets me.
I have swirling feelings of anger, sadness, great joy (that i am alive) and fear (that this will happen to someone I love).

I would like to think Craig Hightower is in some fluffy cloud place with a big open road and no SUVs!

If you're curious read his blog

If you are morbidly curious:
They haven't contacted the family yet so his name was not released.

UPDATE: Motorcyclist dies in downtown Oakland accident
FROM STAFF REPORTS
Article Last Updated: 08/14/2007 01:03:11 PM PDT

OAKLAND - A man was killed Tuesday morning near Chinatown when the
motorcycle he was riding was brushed by a SUV causing it to hit a
parked car
and eject him into a retaining wall, police said.

The name of the dead man, a 42-year-old Alameda resident, was not
released
pending notification of relatives.

The name of the SUV driver, who police said was a Coast Guard enlisted
man,
was not released.

The incident happened about 6 a.m. in the 100 block of Seventh Street,
between Jackson and Madison streets.

Traffic Officer James Gordon said both vehicles had come out of the
Posey
Tube into Oakland from Alameda and were going eastbound on Seventh
Street.

He said the Coast Guard member told police he was on his way to work at

Government Island in Alameda and that police believe the motorcyclist
was
also on his way to work, but they are not sure where.

Gordon said the motorcyclist was in the extreme right lane which the
SUV — a
Chevrolet Equinox — was trying to get into.

He said the preliminary investigation indicates the SUV apparently
brushed
the motorcycle, making it hit a parked vehicle and jump a curb where
the
rider was ejected into a cinder block wall, causing fatal injuries.

The SUV driver was questioned and released pending further
investigation.

**************************************************

I've known Craig for over 6 years and have been on many rides with him.
He
is one of the most experienced riders I've ever met. I can't believe
this
could happen to him of all people. I just had dinner with him and some
other
friends last week at Lanesplitter in Berkeley. First time I'd seen him
in
close to a year. I can't believe it was the last time ever.

Craig was also one of the kindest and most giving people on this
planet.
There is nothing he wouldn't do to help someone in need. He loved his
family, his friends and ESPECIALLY his cats. His passion for
motorcycling
and kayaking took him far and wide and he loved to write about his
adventures on his Backroads Boogie website.

This world has lost one of the best. I am truly heartstricken and send
my
deepest regrets to those closest to him.

We love you, Craig. You are forever remembered.

Evelyn


There's a report on BARF -- http://bayarearider sforum.com/ forums/showthrea d.php?s=& postid=3337328# post3337328 -- that Craigh was killed this morning in a collision with an SUV, possibly while on his way to work in Fremont.

I never met him and I'm sorry I didn't. He seemed like a great guy.

RIP Craig Hightower

I really think this is yet another wake up call to get my butt in shape and be the strongest, healthiest, best version of myself I can be ... and with any luck live a pretty long life.

A Rock fell on my Head

Good Morning!
So last night I had a visit from my best Jess and the lovely HL. We had mexican fud dinner and I offed some of my crap . .e rrr . .. lovely former belongings on them. Thanks guys! Just before they left I realized I got a message from my roommate. I had called her earlier to tell her the Jess would be over, since I knew she had some fish stuff for her. Her message said we can go into her closet nad take what fish stuff the Jess wanted. It was on the high top shelf in the right corner. I had to take down a huge bucket first, surprisingly heavy, but I didn't think anything of it. I got the fish tank down and we went through it. After the Jess took what she wanted I put the tank back and then lifted the bucket up when WHAM- something hit me . . . literally. I felt my head grow three sizes in an instant and I say "what was that?" I look and there it is a rock the size of a small watermelon (maybe 15lbs?). It was in the bucket and spilled out right smack onto the middle of my forehead where forehead meets hairline. It started to bleed a little. Jess got me ice and tissue and made me sit down. I am proud of myself for not crying, I really wanted to. I have this child-like reaction when I am physically hurt and always want to cry emmediately, but I hate crying in front of kids so I refrained, kept repeating "I'm OK" and had them be on thweir way. I was a little upset Wes wasn't picking up his phone. This almost never happens, but I couldnt reach him Saturday for a long time, adn now with my head swelling I felt a little desperate. He had left me a message earlier, and recently a text and now he didn't pick up. Grrrrr. He finally picked up and I told him what happened, he was real worried. I cried a little. But I reassured him I was OK, just a little overwhelmed, I needed sleep. Unfortunately that wasn't going to happen. For whatever unknown reason I wasn't that sleepy (very tired though). I had a very sleepless night with a lot of waking up and tossing and turning for no reason at all. Sometimes, when I have those kind of nights, it's always right before I need to wake up that I am finally blissfully asleep, but nope, I was barely sleeping when my alarm went off, I hit snooze and before I knew it I got my favorite wake up: Lately when Sophia isn't home her cat, 'Luna Fresca Debbie Girl'- as I call her- will hop up on my bed ever so quietly and sweetly and say "mornin". I love it. It always convinces me to get up and start the day. To my dissapointment there was no cool huge bump to show off this morning. Only a red irritation spot and some barely noticible swelling.

In other news, I weighed myself this morning and made it just over a 10 lb loss! Go me!

August 13, 2007

Third post in one morning- Wow!

So I just came to a hard fact realization about weather or not I am ready to ride again. Wes has been working on this cheap bike we got so I can ride again with him, but in reality I haven't been on two wheels since the accident (Jan 1). My friend Kerry just offered to come pick me up on her Vespa and go to lunch, then warned me that her passenger helmet has no shield and I had this horrible vision in my head of an accident and my face messed up. Plus there was an accident on the bridge this morning backing up traffic and I just felt like I can't do it. I probably need to go for a ride (where I am driving) somewhere secure and safe without traffic and re-gain confidence. But I was shocked at how afraid I still am.

This is going to take some time (and maybe some therapy).

click the link

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What a weekend!

So lots of news. I think I already mentioned my new computer. Well the computer thing really got me set on some rearranging, upgrading and general spring cleaning. So Friday night to Sunday night thats just about all I did. I threw a LOT of stuff out, I made big piles of things to sell/give away and I got a new desk for my room.

See, I have been using the same old computer desk since the begining of time (well, the beginning of high school anyway) and my room right now is pretty small, especially with the TV, dresser and queen size bed. The old desk, while pretty compact and very convenient (shelves, cabinet, hutch) just took too much room all caddy-corner. See, the only reasonable space for nit was a corner and its a rectangular desk. So I decided to part with it and got a corner desk. This was no easy feat though. Every corner desk Ikea carriest was out of stock. Well there was one that was huge and it was the last one and one of the boxes was torn apart and I was too afraid peices were missing. So we checked out Target, nothing. Then on a whim we passed an Office Depot and went in. They had the perfect desk! My favorite feature was this 4-port USB hub built into the desk, so you dont have to have so many wires conming from the back of the computer. It's a corner desk with a hutch and I put the whole thing together myself (with help from wes). It really opens up the room. I am sooo happy! My new computer will look great in it. Now if you know anyone who needs an older desk and/or a love seat, and/or an odler digital camera, or an iSight . . .let me know! I will post a link once I get an ad up.


So it felt really good to get all this done. My apartment feels cluttered now, but once I get rid of things, it will feel better.

In other news, I didnt do any formal excersize this weekend, but I know I burned a lot of calories with my moving things, building, cleaning and organizing.

I admit it though. I totally fell off the wagon as far as my diet is concerned. I even had pizza saturday night. I have also started this bad habit of weighing myself almost every day. Friday I was down another pound, Saturday I was up two from that and this morning I was down two and a half. Weird! But I am not going to dwell, I will just jump back on the wagon and forge ahead. I hope to have lost 10lbs by this weekend.

I don't knwo if it's my imagination, but I swear my pants feel bigger today :)

August 10, 2007

Manic Friday

So I am very super busy today, but I wanted to mention a couple things health-wise and a couple other random notes from my crazy busy head.

Despite my less-than ideal meal choices the past few days, my weight continues to drop- Yay!

I have not had a chance to write down my points since Wednesday- Oy vey!

Boot camp was challenging this morning, but still feels good. Haydee joined the itnerim and I am happy to see her. Next session will suck without her.

I ordered a new computer as mine is on it's last legs. I can't wait/ This weekend I hope to reorganize, sell some stuff and generally just clean up at home.

I hope everything is well in your world, dear blog reader. Till next time,
J

August 9, 2007

Very Sleepy this Morning

Hey there super blog readers!

So last night I veered completely off my diet. I really just threw it all out the window I think. I was meeting some former co-workers for dinner at this total comfort-food diner and had a big pulled chicken BBQ sammich, and ate 90% of it (including bun) and had 90% of my sweet potato fries, then I came home and had a 2-point WW ice cream. I can only imagine how many points that sammich and fries were.

I don't feel too down about it, it was delicious. But I did have my WW meeting yesterday and I was so pleased to hear other people get recognized repeatedly for losing 5 or 6 pounds total, when I lost 7.8. Probably not anice thing to say, but I felt good for having lost so much, particularly when my peers weren't there yet. In fact I secretly thought it would be so cool if I were the first to lose 10lbs, but with dinners like last ngiht, it just won't happen.

OK here's my next confession. I really don't like vegitables. There are many I can stand, and one I love (tomatoes), but I really don't like veggies and I am sick of salads. I brought a salad for lunch yesterday, along with my WW hotpocket and fruit and I compeltely ignored the salad and ate all the fruit and pocket. I really wish I craved veggies and loved eating them. I must admit I was not raised to love veggies and I was never taught to cook, but as an adult, I would hope I would know better and make a bigger effort, but even though I buy the greens and put my tomatos and dressing together and it's all so convenient, I am still not eating them.

In other news I decided it's time to get a new computer. I can not afford it, but I am going to try super duper hard to save and sell some things and get it in the next month. I am super in lvoe with the new iMac.

August 8, 2007

Weight Watchers Week 4

So yesterday I went to the food court again, to meet a friend for lunch, and i chose to have soup. I have no clue how good or bad tomato bisque soup is for me, but it was damn good! I took a couple computer classes yesterday which allowed me to get home earlier than usual.

I decided to clean up a bit, I have way too much crap/clutter in the living room (not very fair to my patient roommate). I decided I need to have a file and throw away day. I have a lot of stacks of boxes, papers, photos and unopened things in the closet that need to be sorted and perhaps thrown away or sold. I think I will do this Saturday.

I am also going to try to sell some stuff. I need to get rid of things, adn i need to raise money for a new computer. Amung other things, the list includes: one old 35mm SLR camera, One nice, but old digital camera (has trouble holding a charge, shuts itself off, but otherwise pretty nice- 5megapixels), motorcycle windshield, ab-flex excersize machine, some CDs, some clothes, my computer (imac) when i get the new one. If you or someone you know needs/wants/might be interested in any of these items, let me know. I am also willing to do a number of dances, songs and puppet shows for money, and you can perhaps also pay me for advise or a good joke. Hehe, ok that last part was a joke, but really folks, I desperately need a new computer, and i desperately want the new imac. MY WONDERFUL MOST FANTASTIC BOYFRIEND (oops, didnt realize i was in caps) might be helping me finance it. we'll see!!!

Boot camp was tought this morning, I really felt lethargic, probably not enough sleep. It's really hard to find a balance. But I am still on track and still losing weight (and gaining muscle I hope!).

Check back with me tomorrow for more exciting news in the boring life of jess.

August 7, 2007

Hot Tuesday

Yesterday I had a less than ideal WW lunch, but again it wasn't a 100% poor choice. Danielle suggested Bistro Burger, a personal lunch fav, and I thought i would test my will power and try to order a salad ... well I didn't win, but I didn't order a burger. I got a chicken sammich with curcly fries (no cheese, didn't eat much bun) and didn't finish the sammich or the fries.

I had a WW frozen dinner for supper (5 points) - the Lasagna, it was good. I would love to say I am going to eat whole foods and be healthy and natural, but the frozen dinner are really good and cheap and totally on the diet. I need to work on having a salad with them though. I tend to only have salad at home when I am preparing a meal for more than just myself.

I also had the new WW ice cream bar- chocolate cookie crunch and OMG- it was heavenly! I knwo Wes will love it because its chocolate, cookie (oreo like) and it's not teenie tiny- only 3 points too!

In other news I am very frustrated with my computer and desperately need a new one. Time to seriously start saving!!!! The one I want is't cheap.

This morning brought on another small serindipitous surprise, I had to leave earlier than usual this morning so I can make it to my computer training class and I got into a car in carpool and the driver was a coworker! Unfortunately I didn't save much walking though since I had the training and I wasn't going all the way to the office.

The class was pretty boring adn the room was way too hot. My fleece top was such a bad idea today. And after only a cup of raisin bran this morning I was starving. I stopped at walgreens for a banana- and i felt like i needed sugar so i went for fat free red vines and only had one serving (soooo hard). I am already thinking about my lunch choices too, since I am meeting an old friend later at the food court at the mall.

August 6, 2007

Clothing

So My work-out wardrobe is very limited nad I have been wearing the same two tops and black loose sleep-wear pants and I just don't do laundry that often, plus I feel like everything is hanging out and I have no pockets.

I don't have the money now, but I would love to get this top, maybe teo in two colors and these pants are way too expenssive, but i hate sweating, so maybe they would be good, or perhaps i should just be wearing these under my pants to keep the sweating down.

i pretty much think they have ugly overpriced clothes ont hat site, but i got my snow stuff from them and it fits great and its simple. plus how many plus size athletic-wear places are there?

Boot Camp - Interim session and other updates

Hey there fine readers of the bloggy.

So I think I was a little not-so-great with my food choices this weekend, but I did some goood things too.

First of all, I had my post-boot-camp-evaluation and I lost 3/4 inch on both arms, one inch around my shoulders and some fractions of inches in other parts. According to their scale I only lost 4lbs, but I had started losing before boot camp, so I will say 7lb according to my scale at home.

So this is what I did that was good: When we found outselves in Hayes Valley this weekend, home of some of my favorite high-carb, high-fat foods, I chose the Crepe House, which serves new potatoes instead of fries and I ate all my salad and took half of the crepe and half the potatos home. ALso on Sunday I was super duper not feeling like excersizing, and Wes didn't bring his shoes or anything, as usual, and my roommate and her GF were lounging in front of the TV, and it was overcast and cold and misty, but i went anyway! I didn't jog or go far, but I walked a mile or so and did the stairs. Yay me!

In other news, my boyfriend really rocks. I have been nagging him forever to fix my outlet that used to correspond to a light switch that no longer works and he did it! He also installed the Ipod modulator in my car and made it really seamless, I am sooooooooo stoked to now be able to listen to my ipod in my car by plugging it in and not fuissing with radio stations, this was my anniversary gift. He also got me a giants shirt that fits (the one he gave me for my bday was too small). I love it!
I really have a super wonderful boyfriend that made big efforts for me this weekend and i am so thankful.

OK thats it for now.
A reward fro those who read the whole thing (link came from matthew):
http://www.hoppinglederhosen.com/
Happy Monday,
Jess

August 3, 2007

Last day of Boot Camp, Session 1

So I made a poor choice in food yesterday. I think when I am left alone to make food choices and I am not at home or didn't pack a lunch I don't have much discipline. I think I have emotional issues around eating out alone and would rather have something unhealthy, to comfort me in the fact that I am eating alone. I am glad I recognize this, I hope to change it. I wasn't all bad though. I skipped the greasy chinese (line was too long) and got the turkey sammich in the big white fluffy roll with melted cheese and a side of fried. I only had half the sammich and half the fries. BUT, if there is one thing hard to resist for me, it's mrs fields. I rewarded myself with six nibblers (mini cookies). They were absolutely devine! I hope those poor diet choices didn't cost me too much.

Last night I saw Ratatouille with Jenai, it was really cute. I didn't get any movie snacks and we had Subway beforehand. I had a turkey sammich on wheat, no cheese.

This morning I had my last day of the first session of boot camp. They times us on push ups first. I did 7 more in a minute than last time. THen sit up- I did 3 less than last time (what??!). Last was the times mile, I shaved almost a minute off my time! Yay me!

Tomorrow is my post-camp evaluation. I can't wait to see if I have dropped lbs or inches!

August 2, 2007

Another Blog . . . .

In case I don't inspire you, my cousin Josh might: http://www.jlilienstein.blogspot.com/

Thursday - Another opportunity to be healthier!

Morning Blog readers (all 4 of you),
So I have to take a moment to tell everyone what a super fabulous boyfriend I have.
I was a little bummed he has been broke lately and even refrained from seeing me Sunday to save the gas money, and sometimes I am a little less than enthused that when he comes over on Wednesdays he comes so much later than I would like, but last night he showed up with a gorgeous buquet of bright orange roses (the little ones, several to a stem). I just shrieked with joy! I really love flowers, and about a million times more when they come as a surprise from my honey. They are soooo beautiful and the gesture was just so sweet and perfect timing too. I can't wait to go home and see them again! (I cant weait even mroe to see my honey again!).

OK after the surprise of the flowers and lots of kisses, we made our special whole wheat trader joe's pizza- yum!

I also helped him shave off a few unneeded extras on his cell phone plan and work on his budget.

It was a good night and I crashed out big time, feeling groggy this morning, but still ramped for my diet.

This morning my co-worker Gail inquired about how my diet was going and was so pleased to hear I lost 6 1/2 lbs. She talked to me a bit about an overweight friend of ehrs that always makes unhealthy choices in restaurants and how important veggies are and how everyone has one thing they hate (i hate carrots, she hates creamed corn).

I thought it was good to hear someone so thin and healthy say there was something healthy she cant stand.

Thats all I got for now,
Later

August 1, 2007

Week three of WW begins!

At my weigh in today I lost 6.6 lbs total in two weeks! Go me!

I also am signing up for the two interim weeks of boot camp, so I have a total of 6 more weeks after this week!

I am really learning what my weaknesses are, and I think it's of course sweets and snacking. I find it hard to make good choices if I don't have them readily available, so I think I may try to budget time and money for two trips to the store every week.

Thanks so much to everyone for your continued support, this is def. not easy and I know as I get closer to my first goal I will have to put all the more effort into more dieting and excersize to reach my ultimate goal.

A few reminders to be a great cheerleader for me: words of encouragement and support are great, but Mom caught herself making menu suggestings and assuming I didnt want dessert. I will make all my own decisions, so please don't assume anything and don't criticize or comment on my choices (well unless its positive and ive already made the choice). I pretty much would prefer to get supportive words and praise via email,. maybe a bit in person, but find it generally embarrasing to have a lot of attention drawn to the fact that im trying to lose weight, makes me self concious.

I LOVE offers for recipes, tips, invite me to excersize/be active with you, etc.

I think that's all I have to say for now. My budget stuff is a little off track, but there are a few things coming up that I need to spend money on, and then i need to crack the whip again and maybe even save a little for the holidays.

thanks again for reading!
and a shout out to my fav cuz Jen who send a really sweet supportive email to me. thanks mama (times two)!